Monumental Setbacks = +_ Monumental Comebacks

Have you had at some point in the course of your life, a V8 moment, where you suddenly finding yourself in the throes of a monumental setback, aka, gut wrenching, cookie tossing, catastrophic failure and wondered what the heck just happened?

If you have or are now in the midst of one now, take heart, you’re not alone. Many of us have experienced a rude awakening over the last few years, be it financially, physically, romantically or psychologically.

Not that it makes what you’re going through, any easier, to know there are others who have been there, done that and have the horrific scars to prove it. What it does convey is hope. Hope that if others in our midst can survive it and thrive in spite of the setback, we can too.

What would you rank as the greatest monumental setback of all time? Possibly the Civil War or WWII, or maybe something as recent as the nightmare of the Healthcare.Gov computer glitches that are currently preventing people who need insured the most, from enrolling. Or maybe a famous personality that weathered the storms of life, only to make a monumental comeback. Hold that thought, if you please. I’ll attempt to give you my answer by the end of this read.

Let’s take Peyton Manning for example. His college career, at our beloved Tennessee, made him the most famous and talented football player ever to play the game here. His ranking as number one in the draft in 2008, led him to the Colts and the rest is now history; well sort of.

His recurring neck injuries, over time, eventually put him through numerous surgeries and on the sidelines and out of the game for the entire 2011 season. Could one say monumental setback? What about his beloved Colts, releasing him to free agency, another monumental setback, you betcha?

What the owner’s couldn’t see was the heart and soul of the man, his passionate love for the game and the attitude to do whatever it takes to come back. Looking at Peyton and the Bronco’s record this year, could we not say monumental comeback, you betcha?

Look at Dave Ramsey, another Tennessean, famous author and financial guru, who experienced the exhilaration of prosperity, until 2006, when out of the blue, the throes of adversity came calling. How do you think he would have described his loss of millions and bankruptcy, a ‘fluffy” financial set back or a catastrophic monumental failure? I can guarantee, when you’re in the throes of chaos and your “friends” have abandoned you, catastrophic is a relatively kind word.

But Dave used his intelligence, his faith, and most of all, his compassion to turn his world and the lives of millions, around. Today, I am proud to say, he is featured on or every just about every medium there is, working to prevent other “common folk,” like you and me, from experiencing the excruciating pain he encountered many years ago. Can we not agree Dave Ramsey has achieved a monumental comeback?

And then there’s me. Over the last thirty years, I have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, both personally and financially. I have built numerous companies from the ground up, only to give them away or watch them die, because of the collapse of the economy and the real estate market.

As of late, I’ve watched an almost thirty year relationship go down in flames and found myself, for the first time, on the receiving end of generosity, with limited and often scarce resources or opportunities with which to repay.

I’ve found myself looking for a job, all the while knowing, even though I’ve done everything from retail, to restaurant, to construction and development, I can’t adequately fill out a resume, because my previous employer over the last thirty plus years has gone out of business, me.

Have I experienced a monumental setback, most definitely? Have I thought of giving up, tossing in the towel and or waving the white flag of surrender? I have thought of all these things, more than once, I assure you. Thankfully, my cup is always half full and therein lies my hope.

 Sometimes we have to be broken to be made whole. Is there a monumental comeback in my future? You can bet on it. In the meantime, I’ve learned many life lessons that I too, wish on no one, but me. If you’re there or have been there, you can relate.

I’ve learned who my friends are. You’ll never know whom you can count on, until you have nothing left to give. I’ve learned that I can survive on little. I’ve learned just what is most important in the grand scheme of things. Happiness, as defined by me, is found not in what you have, but who you have in your life.

I say all this, to tell you, that we are on our way back. And you can be too. There are however, certain truths that must come into play. Let no one take your dreams away. For when the dreams stop, so will the breathing.

Thankfully I have never lost my faith, nor my hope. Even now, as you’re reading this blog, eighteen months ago, writing was the farthest thing from my mind. Would you believe, as of last week, I’ve finished my first novel. Dang, me an author? Who would have thought it, certainly not me?  Not even a host of my “former friends could imagine me writing a fictional love story, “sprinkled with truth” on redemption and restoration. I’ll provide you a link at the end to read the preface. We hope to launch it after the first of the year and your feedback would be greatly appreciated.

But back to my question, that I asked at the beginning of this read, who or what would you describe as the greatest monumental setback, followed by the greatest monumental comeback?

I nominate Jesus, who after being born as the Son of God, was crucified on the cross, a monumental setback for sure. But then after three disastrous dark days, His Resurrection brought forth the greatest monumental comeback of all time. Just imagine, the same Spirit that raised Him from the dead, is available to us, right here, right now, to empower us to create our own monumental comeback. Therein lies our Hope. We’ve done it before and we can do it again. Let no one or no thing keep you from believing otherwise.  

Stay tuned.

Click on this link to read an excerpt from our first novel:

 “Ride to Redemption.” http://ridetoredemption.blogspot.com/

Personal Choices: You Choose. Life Lessons from an Iron, Circa 1900

 I stumbled upon a miniature iron, while looking for old pictures, a few days ago. The following words, written in my mom’s distinctive handwriting, were taped to the bottom: given by Billy Johnson, my father, to Effie, his baby sister, in 1900. Tears came to my eyes when I read this, not because we’re approaching the anniversary of her death, she died on my birthday, January 19^th, but because this was all the connection she had managed to hold on to, from her father, who passed away three months before she was born. Sadder still, her mother passed away less than two years after she was born in July, 1915. Throughout the course of her eighty four years, she raised, nurtured, held, corrected and most importantly loved numerous brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces, and even three children spaced twelve and fifteen years apart. She turned out swell, in spite of the fact that she had, neither a mom nor dad to nudge and lovingly, show her “the way.”

I’m sure she had her share of heartache and failures, while being raised, along with many brothers and sisters, by an aunt and uncle, with too many children already. Maybe, that’s why at fifteen, she married my father, right smack in the middle of the first depression. (Just a footnote, isn’t it sad, up until recently, it was the only depression?) Then my father finished raising her and she in turn, raised him throughout the course of their 62 years together. And they did a great job, I might add, raising themselves, along with the many others who came before me.

The life choices my mother made were her own.  She didn’t have a mom or dad to praise and or to blame for the twists and turns that she encountered along the way. Only God knows all that she went through growing up, surviving on less and always longing for more. I asked her once why she had to ooze love to everyone and she said it was because it was the one thing she wanted more than anything growing up, that she could never have, the love of a mom and a dad. She wanted to make sure that everyone whose lives she crossed, whose hearts she touched, felt unequivocally loved.

Which brings me to this point and or question, who do we praise or blame for our own personal choices?  Is it our parents, she had none; our teachers, she had those but only through the fifth grade; our friends, she had more than one could ever imagine. Although we’ve been influenced by many of these, when it comes right down to it, are not the personal choices we make that ultimately says to the world, just who and what we are, our own?

I’m not perfect in any way, shape or form and through my share of humbling successes; I have made my fair share of mistakes. Regardless of my upbringing and her positive influences, the choices I have made both good and bad, have been and continue to be, my own. I am who I am because of my choices, no one else. 

Yesterday, my sister emailed a truism to me and I have not been able to find who wrote it. We’ll have to say “author unknown,” for the moment. “Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and every choice you make. Period.”

It’s unfortunate that the choices we make that lead to success; be it in school or in ones career or family, do not garner the same kind of shock and awe, which failure tends to do. If we could love more, praise more, honor more those in our lives who succeed, would it not make their lives and the world we live in, a much better place?  With all the bad news coming down the pike today, I’m for heaping all the praise I can muster to those within and without “my circle.” Everyone, regardless of circumstance, deserves to feel wanted, needed and appreciated, don’t they? It’s hard to be depressed indefinitely and take the wrong roads repeatedly, when you are enveloped in love and praise. Period.

That being said, no matter what we encounter along life’s path, we, alone, choose how we address it. We have all been given free will and can choose with each day, whether to be positive, to be happy or not. Thankfully too, there are many second chances for most of us, if we happen to choose unwisely. I just want you to know, I am the king of second chances. Thankfully, Lamentations 3:22-23 provides me spiritual solace through an infinite supply of daily grace, when I find myself floundering with my own personal choices.

Join me today, in reflecting on just where and who we are at this moment in our lives. Who or what has influenced you the most in your journey, the least? When it comes right down to it, have you made the most of what you’ve been given or have you taken the stance to blame someone else for your current state? I have in the past myself and let me tell you, it doesn’t work for long. We, alone, move forward or backward, one step at a time. It’s our feet, our internal motion and finally our own individual, personal choices that propel us in the right or wrong direction, wherever that happens to be. Period.

Dear America, Join me in writing a letter from the heart

Dear America, Join me in Paying it Forward By Handwriting A Letter or Two from the Heart.

I had a most humbling conversation yesterday with a vivacious, seventeen year old young lady named Victoria. In discussions of homework, careers and her future opportunities, we somehow managed to cross into an abyss of sorts and completely unknown to her, letters. It seems that over the past seventeen years of her relatively young life, she has never sent or received a handwritten letter. Have we advanced that far or better yet, declined that far to the point that the handwritten word is no longer relevant?

Does our world consist solely of emails, texts and tweets? In an age where instant gratification takes center stage, are we robbing this generation and those to come, the art of the written word, as expressed and delivered from the heart? I’m talking about letters to friends and family and possibly someone you’ve never met, but can empathize with; not just love letters. I’m talking about writing in big bold printed letters or in cursive ”God forbid” and sharing words of encouragement, gratitude or just catching up.

How many of our children have held a hand written letter in their hands and read it over and over again? How many have stored them away and pulled them out when they’re having a really tough day? How many handwritten letters have we received from our children and how many have we kept? I dare say those of us fortunate enough to have received handwritten letters from our children, have kept them all. Why, because it’s personal, it’s an extension of oneself as expressed in words.

My mother was an artist in many things, from sketches to cooking to the art of letter writing. Through the years she earned a Master’s in heartfelt communication and eventually a PHD in feel good economics, all through her letters. She had the capacity to make hearts aglow with warmth and love through the handwritten word, throughout her eighty four years. I recently found a poem written to my nephew on his birthday, not long after my dad, but more importantly, his granddad, passed away. She wanted my nephew to know how special he was and through the eyes of my dad, how proud he would always be of him.  Along with the poem was a brilliant red cardinal, sketched in pen and ink. What a present, what a memory still after eighteen years have passed. Needless to say, how many of us would still have an email or text of that special day after all this time?

Don’t you think it’s time we delve into the hearts and minds of those we hold most precious in our eyes and send them a handwritten note from our heart, encouraging them to reply in like kind to others in their circle; paying it forward if you will,  handwritten words filled with sincerity and flowing from the heart. How best to teach children to communicate effectively, to feel loved immeasurably, to give unselfishly and to share some of the daily aspects of their lives. Not only children, but others in our own circles we hold most dear, but it must begin with us.

Let’s not forget your sweetheart. I dare not exclude those whose presence makes our hearts aflutter. Find a compliment, write it down then find another: write squiggly things like hearts and arrows and tell them you love them in a truly special way. Now put it in an envelope and mail it. Yes mail it with a stamp. I would suggest you leave off the return address or not. Guess that’s up to you.

Join me in pledging over the next few weeks to handwrite a letter or two, to friends or family, to whomever, that could use our heartfelt words for encouragement, laughter, warmth or even a brief smile. Then write me and tell me how it felt to write again, to share again, to feel the warmth of the written word in your hands again. Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. I’ll gladly share the comments with you later this month. Feel empowered; be empowered, because we’re all swimming up this stream together.